It’s Time We Recognized SpongeBob’s “Band Geeks” As The Best TV Episode Ever
“Is mayonnaise an instrument?”
1. SpongeBob SquarePants: It’s not just an AMAZING television show; it’s practically high art.
Don Draper and Walter White have nothing on Mr. Squarepants.
2. But out of the HUNDREDS of episodes that have aired, one stands out above the rest. True SpongeBob fans know which one I speak of: “Band Geeks.”
It’s a seminal classic.
3. At first glance, it looks like any old episode of SpongeBob. It starts with Squidward playing the clarinet horribly…
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Nickelodeon
4. …like, really, really bad. But what else is new?
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Nickelodeon
5. But then Squilliam Fancyson, Squidward’s arch-enemy, dials up our favorite octopus and tells him he needs Squidward to take his place as the halftime performer for the Bubble Bowl.
It’s like the Super Bowl, but for Bikini Bottom.
6. And that’s when things get SO SO interesting, because Squidward doesn’t have a band! So he has to recruit all the citizens of Bikini Bottom to join in.
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Nickelodeon
Unfortunately, lit’rally NONE of them are qualified.
7. And Patrick delivers this ICONIC line, possibly the most important in television history.
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Nickelodeon
8. SRSLY Squidward is in way over his head. It’s DRAMATIC, thrilling stuff.
The suspense!
9. Because let’s face it, as bad as Squidward is at playing the clarinet…
10. …no one should have handed SpongeBob a musical instrument.
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Nickelodeon
Or anyone else from Bikini Bottom, for that matter.
11. Things have to get A LOT worse before they get better. RIP, flag-twirlers.
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Nickelodeon
You KNOW it’s dramatic when some supporting characters die a fiery, disturbing death.
12. And you even feel sorry for Plankton. But not *that* sorry.
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Nickelodeon
13. Basically, things get really bad.
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Nickelodeon
15. Our tentacled friend is basically at his breaking point. You FEEL his struggle.
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Nickelodeon
16. And then the tension gets to be too much, and this random British fish insults Mr. Krabs… AND EVERYONE EXPLODES.
17. Not even the wise words of SpongeBob can save the residents of Bikini Bottom.
19. Thankfully, band practice ends right on time, and the fisticuffs end abruptly.
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Nickelodeon
NO MORE DEAD FISH thankfully.
20. But the damage has been done. Squidward has been defeated, and he must mope off, hanging his head in shame.
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Nickelodeon
21. But like a knight in shining squarepants, SpongeBob decides to TAKE CHARGE!!!
22. And he launches into one of the most inspiring speeches of the 21st century.
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Nickelodeon
The speech from Miracle has NOTHING on this.
23. I’m not crying, you’re crying!!!
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Nickelodeon
24. Squidward arrives at the Bubble Bowl, and he thinks all hope is lost. But SpongeBob and Co. are THERE TO SAVE THE DAY!!!
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Nickelodeon
27. And then… right when the audience (and Squidward) is on the edge of their seats… IT HAPPENS.
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Nickelodeon
28. The Bikini Bottom Marching Band launches into a ROUSING rendition of “Sweet Victory.”
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Nickelodeon
29. Actually, you should probably just watch the full thing here. I’ll wait for you. MAKE SURE TO TURN THE VOLUME WAY, WAY UP!!!
31. Somebody get these guys at Coachella!
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Nickelodeon
33. Squilliam can’t handle the EPICNESS and he has to be carted off in a stretcher. OMG.
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Nickelodeon
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